During the course of conversation between two ladies in a hotel parlor one said to the other: "Are you married?" "No, I am not," replied the other. "Are you?"
"No," was the reply, "I, too, am on the single list," adding: "Strange that two such estimable women as ourselves should have been overlooked in the great matrimonial market! Now that lady," pointing to another who was passing, "has been widowed four times, two of her husbands having been cremated. The woman," she continued, "is plain and uninteresting, and yet she has them to burn."
One of the ladies assembled at the club was describing the wedding she had just attended:
"And then, just as Frank and the widow started up the aisle to the altar, every light in the church went out."
The listeners exclaimed over the catastrophe.
"And what did the couple do then?" someone questioned.
"Kept on going. The widow knew the way."
A widow visited a spiritualistic medium, who satisfactorily produced the deceased husband for a domestic chat.
"Dear John," the widow questioned eagerly, "are you happy now?"
"I am very happy," the spook assured her.
"Happier than you were on earth with me?" the widow continued, greatly impressed.
"Yes," John asserted, "I am far happier now than I was on earth with you."
"Oh, do tell me, John," the widow cried rapturously, "what is it like in heaven?"
"Heaven!" the answer snapped. "I ain't in heaven!"