The man rushed excitedly into the smoking car. "A lady has fainted in the next car! Has anybody got any whiskey?" he asked.
Instantly a half-dozen flasks were thrust out to him. Taking the nearest one, he turned the bottle up and took a big drink, then, handing the flask back, said, "Thank you. It always did make me feel sick to see a lady faint."
A tramp went to a farmhouse, and sitting down in the front yard began to eat the grass.
The housewife's heart went out to him: "Poor man, you must indeed be hungry. Come around to the back."
The tramp beamed and winked at the hired man.
"There," said the housewife, when the tramp hove in sight, pointing to a circle of green grass, "try that: you will find that grass so much longer."
Strengthen me by sympathizing with my strength, not my weakness.—Amos Bronson Alcott.
A tramp devised a new scheme for working on the sympathy of the housewife. After ringing the front door bell, he got on his knees, and began nibbling at the grass of the lawn. Presently the woman opened the door, and, in surprise at sight of him on all fours, asked what he was doing there.
The tramp got to his feet shakily, and made an eloquent clutch at his stomach as he explained:
"Dear madam, I am so hungry that like Nebuchadnezzar I just had to take to eatin' grass."
"Well, well, now ain't that too bad!" the woman cried. "You go right into the back yard—the grass there is longer."