One day in the city of Gloucester in England an aged man, his white hair falling over his shoulders, paused on one of the streets of the city and said to the man upon whose arm he was leaning: "This is the place where I first saw and felt the destitution of the children of the city. I said to myself, Can anything be done? A voice seemed to answer me, 'Try it and see.' I tried it, and behold what God hath wrought." It was Robert Raikes, the founder of the Sabbath schools.
Sunday school Teacher: "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned to salt."
Little Willie: "What happened to the flea?"
A fifth-grade Sunday school teacher reports that one of her students who had been absent for several Sundays returned to the classroom. She walked up to the teacher, asked, "Do you know where I've been? I've been on vacation, had measles, and two enemas!"
A Sunday school teacher was relating to his class the incident in the Garden of Gethsemane, when one of Jesus' disciples drew a sword and cut off the ear of a servant of the high priest. Thinking of Matthew 26:52, where Jesus said, "They that take the sword shall perish by the sword," the teacher asked, "And what did Jesus say then?"
There was a silence, finally broken by a timid voice, "How're you fixed for blades?"—Lois F. Pasley, Quote
Some years ago at our Sunday school the teachers took turns addressing the pupils. Usually they rounded off a fine, well-told story with, "Now, children, the moral of this story is. .. ."
Came the day when one teacher did an extra-fine job. The youngsters were delighted—so much so that one asked if that particular teacher might talk more often. 'We like Miss Brown very much," explained the boy, "because she hasn't any morals."—Mrs. M. O. Lakeman, Together
A ten-year-old Sunday schooler was the only one in his class who responded when the teacher asked who knew the story of Jonah.
After his accurate summary, the teacher complimented him on being the only student who had read the Bible lesson that week.
Painfully honest, the boy corrected the teacher: "I didn't read it in the Bible," he explained, "it was on a bubble gum wrapper."—Laugh Book
Not guilty: The Sunday school teacher was reviewing a lesson. "Who led the children of Israel out of Egypt?" she asked the class.
There was no answer, but a little boy in the back row raised his hand.
"Do you know, Jimmy?" the teacher asked.
"It wasn't me;' Jimmy said timidly. "We just moved here last week. We're from Missouri."
A doctor, who was superintendent of the Sunday school, asked one of the boys this question: "William, what must we do in order to get to heaven?"
"We must die," said Willie.
"Very true," replied the doctor, "but what must we do before we die?"
"We must get sick and send for you."
"Now, Willie," said the superintendent's little boy, addressing the blacksmith's little boy, who had come over for a frolic, "we'll play 'Sabbath School.' You give me a nickel every Sunday for six months, and then at Christmas I'll give you a ten-cent bag of candy."
When Lottie returned from her first visit to Sunday-school, she was asked what she had learned.
"God made the world in six days and was arrested on the seventh day," was her version of the lesson imparted.
The teacher asked: "When did Moses live?"
After the silence had become painful she ordered: "Open your Old Testaments. What does it say there?"
A boy answered: "Moses, 4000."
"Now," said the teacher, "why didn't you know when Moses lived?"
"Well," replied the boy, "I thought it was his telephone number,"—Suburban Life.
"How many of you boys," asked the Sunday-school superintendent, "can bring two other boys next Sunday?"
There was no response until a new recruit raised his hand hesitatingly.
"I can't bring two, but there's one little feller I can lick, and I'll do my damnedest to bring him."
The young lady worker for the Sunday school called on the newly wedded pair.
"I am endeavoring to secure new scholars," she explained. "Won't you send your children?"
When she was informed that there were no children in the family as yet, she continued brightly:
"But won't you please send them when you do have them?"
The Sunday-school teacher examined his new class.
"Who made the world?" he demanded. Nobody seemed to know. He repeated the question somewhat sternly. As the silence persisted, he frowned and spoke with increased severity:
"Children, I must know who made the world!"
Then, at last, a small boy piped up in much agitation:
"Oh, sir, please, sir, it wasn't me!"