Think twice before you speak, and then you may be able to say something more aggraviting than if you spoke right out at once.
A man had for years employed a steady German workman. One day Jake came to him and asked to be excused from work the next day.
"Certainly, Jake," beamed the employer. "What are you going to do?"
"Vall," said Jake slowly. "I tink I must go by mein wife's funeral. She dies yesterday."
After the lapse of a few weeks Jake again approached his boss for a day off.
"All right, Jake, but what are you going to do this time?"
"Aber," said Jake, "I go to make me, mit mein fräulein, a wedding."
"What? So soon? Why, it's only been three weeks since you buried your wife."
"Ach!" replied Jake, "I don't hold spite long."
The faithful old employee asked for a day off. The request was granted, with an inquiry as to what he intended to do on his holiday.
"I think," came the cautious answer, "I shall go to my wife's funeral. She died the other day."
A few weeks later, the request for a day off was repeated.
"And what are you going to do this time?" the employer asked.
"I think, mebbe, I'll get married."
"What! So soon after burying your wife?"
The faithful old employee smiled tolerantly, as he answered: "Oh, well, I was never one to hold spite."