When a small girl filled out a registration card at a girls' club recently she listed her church membership as "Babtist."
"Honey," said Mrs. Ila Huff, the director, "you're not a Babtist, are you?"
"No'm, I'm Episcopalian," she said, "but I can't spell it."
When the air conditioning at an Omaha theater fails to function, it must really get hot inside.
A sign near the box office of the establishment pleads: "Our air conditioning is out of order. Will you please bare with us?"
Sign on a student bulletin board at a large university: "Expert typing, 25 cents a page. Good speler."
Student: "Is waterworks all one word, or do you spell it with a hydrant in the middle?"
Teacher: "Tommy, can you spell `fur?'
Tommy: "Yes, f-u-r."
Teacher: "Correct. Now tell me what fur is?"
Tommy: "Fur is an awful long way off."—The Lookout
"F-e-e-t," the teacher exclaimed, "what does that spell, Mary?" "I dunno."
"Well, what is it that a cow has four of and I have only two?" So Mary told her.—Typo Graphic
Some time before Mr. Taft became President of the United States, he took an extended trip in the mountains of West Virginia. On one occasion, he was conveyed along the mountain roads in a buggy driven by a native of the region. As they came to a small stream, Mr. Taft, without any particular interest, inquired concerning the brook's name. So far as he could understand, the answer was:
"This here are Swum-swum Crick."
"What?" Mr. Taft demanded.
In the repetition, the words sounded like:
"This here are Swoovel Crick."
The questioner was so puzzled that he asked the mountaineer how the name of the Creek was spelled.
The native spat tobacco juice reflectively over the wheel, and then spoke judicially:
"Waal, some spells it one way, an' some spells it another way; but in my jedgmint thar are no propeer way."
The clerk of the court directed the witness to spell his name. The man started his reply thus:
"O double t, i double u, e double l, double u, double——"
The clerk interrupted: "Please, begin again."
The witness complied glibly: "O double t, i double u, e double l, double u, double o——"
The clerk groaned. The judge himself intervened: "What is your name?"
"Your Honor, it is Ottiwell Wood. I spell it: O double t, i double u, e double l, double u, double o, d."