A carpenter once said: "Best rule I know for talkin' is the same as the one for measurin'—measure twice and then saw once."
One prospective buyer, about to succumb to some high-powered direct mail publicity, took a second look and tore up his order.
The book was entitled How to Say a Few Words Effectively and it had 348 pages!
I arrived late at Muncie Central High School in Indiana to make an address on "The Nature of Young Adolescents." The chorus was singing two or three additional numbers when I finally walked into the auditorium. Chairman Omer Mitchell, whom I had not met before, sensed that I was the speaker and approached me. He announced in a whisper, "You're on in a few minutes and you're through when your time's up."—M. Dale Baughman
I'll be brief this morning. It's chiefly because of my throat. (Pause) I don't want to get it cut.
Eddie Cantor was telling about the entertaining he does as toastmaster and MC, and the practical solution he has to holding down after-dinner speakers. "I ask the speakers in advance how much time they want. If a man insists he needs an hour to get his message across, I take a slip of paper out of my pocket and give it to him: 'This one can be read in a minute and 50 seconds.' Immediately the speeches get shorter and surer. On the slip of paper: the Gettysburg Address."—Ladies Home Journal
To those who talk and talk
This adage cloth appeal;
The steam that blows the whistle
Will never turn a wheel.—Keynote
There was a commencement speaker named Zore,
Whose speeches were always a bore.
One night in May,
He had his full say,
And collected his fee but no more.—M. Dale Baughman
After the death of the Roman emperor, Marcus Aurelius, legend has it that the Olympian gods gave a banquet in his honor. During the evening Jupiter announced a contest to determine which of the great Roman emperors had been the greatest. All of them were present, and each in turn stood up to make an address in his own behalf Most of the emperors boasted of their conquests, or of their wealth and power, but when Marcus Aurelius was called on to speak, he modestly exclaimed, "I, a humble philosopher, have cherished the ambition never to give pain to another." Thereupon, amid resounding acclamation, he was crowned the greatest of the Romans.—Sunshine Magazine