MISTRESS—"Did the mustard plaster do you any good, Bridget?"
MAID—"Yes; but, begorry, mum, it do bite the tongue!"
SUFFERER—"I have a terrible toothache and want something to cure it."
FRIEND—"Now, you don't need any medicine. I had a toothache yesterday and I went home and my loving wife kissed me and so consoled me that the pain soon passed away. Why don't you try the same?"
SUFFERER—"I think I will. Is your wife at home now?"
For every ill beneath the sun
There is some remedy or none;
If there be one, resolve to find it;
If not, submit, and never mind it.