Pupil Sermon Illustrations

Pupil Sermon Illustrations

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A student defined a parable as follows: "A parable is a heavenly story with no earthly meaning."

A teacher asked her class the difference between results and the consequences.

One pupil replied, "Results are what you expect; consequences are what you get."

Teacher: "How old were you on your last birthday?"

Junior: "Seven, ma'am."

Teacher: "How old will you be on your next birthday?"

Junior: "Nine, ma'am."

Teacher: "Nonsense. If you were seven on your last birthday, how can you be nine on your next birthday?"

Junior: "I'm eight today."—Sunshine Magazine

Emma Lou: "Don't you think an awful lot of rough stuff goes on before the footlights in our senior play?"

Ruth: "Yes, but I think more goes on after rehearsal behind the headlights."

The third-grade teacher wrote this sentence on the black¬board: "I ain't never had no fun at the seashore."

She then turned to her pupils, singled out one of them and asked, "How can I correct that?"

Little Tommy at once responded, "Get a boyfriend!"—Cook County Education Digest

The fifth grade teacher, who had always had her picture taken with her class, noticed a pupil looking through the pictures. "Are you looking for a friend?" she asked. "No," he replied, "I'm trying to see which of your classes aged you the most."—Dixie Roto Magazine

Two second-grade boys were sitting on the school steps at recess, absorbed in a serious debate. As their teacher passed by, she overheard one of the boys say, "The principal does not have an electric paddle!"—NEA Journal

Recently a youngster returned from school and told his mother he had put a stick of dynamite under the teacher's chair.

"Why, that's terrible," his mother cried. "You march yourself right back to school immediately!"

To which the boy of course replied: "What school?"—Hugh Scott, Today

When a first grader was asked why the ugly troll wouldn't let the goats across the bridge, he replied, "You have to pay money to cross a troll bridge."

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