Pupil Sermon Illustrations

Pupil Sermon Illustrations

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The teacher told the children to draw what each would like to be when he grew up. Bobby handed in a blank paper.

"Why, Bobby, isn't there something you'd like to be when you grow up?"

"Yes, teacher, I'd like to be married, but I don't know how to draw it."—Rex Topics

Hungry schoolboy at lunch counter of school hangout: "One hot dog!"
Waiter: "Will you eat it here or take it with you?"
Hungry schoolboy: "I hope to do both."

Do you remember the episode in the life of Lewis Carroll's Alice when she found herself running with the Queen of Chess? Alice didn't quite know how it started but, somehow or other, they began to run.

The Queen kept crying "Faster! Faster!" until they went so fast that at last they seemed to skim through the air, hardly touching the ground with their feet.

Suddenly they stopped, and Alice found herself sitting on the ground, breathless and giddy. She looked around her in great surprise. "Why," she said, "I do believe we've been under the tree the whole time. Everything's just as it was." "Of course it is," said the Queen. "What would you have it?"

With regard to reading, how many students, do you suppose, are like Alice and the Queen? They realize they must "get over" a certain assignment, and therefore, with no thought to purpose or direction, they race along through meaningless words, sentences, paragraphs and chapters and wonder, when they are finished, why it is they are right where they started with no new facts collected and no new ideas for their trouble.—Spache and Berg, The Art of Efficient Reading

Petey had just finished his first week of school. Older sister Willa asked, "What did you learn in school this week, Petey?"

The little lad answered like a flash, "I know the first letter of the alphabet."

"What is it?" asked Willa. "A," answered Petey. About this time Mom joined the conversation, "That's fine, Petey, and what comes after A?"

With much confidence Petey responded, "All the other letters. Don't you know that?"

In a school essay on "Parents," one little girl wrote: "We get our parents when they are so old it is hard to change their habits."—Sunshine Magazine

The schoolboy's assignment was to illustrate the song, "America, the Beautiful."

The teacher recognized the flag, the map, the "purple" mountains, even the youthful artist's idea of "from sea to shining sea." But she couldn't understand the airplane in one corner, covered with red and yellow balls.

"That," explained the seven-year-old artist, "is the fruited plane."

"Now, class: said the teacher, " I want you to be very still—so still that you can hear a pin drop."

For a minute all was still, and then a little boy yelled, "Let 'er drop!"—Emily Lotney

Teacher: "Willie, correct this sentence: 'Girls is naturally better looking than boys." Willie: "Girls is artificially better looking than boys."

Teacher: "We will have only half a day of school this morning."
Class: "Hurrah!"
Teacher: 'We'll have the other half this afternoon."

"Well, Susie, do you like going to school?"

"Oh, very much. And I like coming back. But I just hate what happens between going and coming."

A noted Canadian entomologist was delivering a lecture on the danger of rat infestation. The sixth grade class listened with apparent attention and after the lecture, one of them wrote the lecturer a note of thanks. It concluded by saying:

"We didn't even know what a rat looked like until you came."—F. G. Kernan, Quote

The children were called upon to write a school essay, and at the appointed time little Hugh submitted one on the ark, in which he made the statement that Noah fished for about five minutes one day.

The teacher looked over the composition, and, puzzled, asked, "Hugh, why do you say that Noah fished only five minutes?"

"Because," was the prompt explanation, "he had only two worms."—The Lookout

Teacher: "Can anyone give me an example of poor economy?"
Harry: "I know a man who took such large steps to save wear on his $10 shoes that he split his $20 trousers."

The first-graders were visiting the airport. As the roaring planes landed and took off the teacher remarked to the class, "Isn't it wonderful that we have so many airplanes, and just think, a few years ago we didn't even have automobiles." One curious youngster piped up, "How did people get to the airports?"

Billy's teacher was a plump and pleasant lady of 210 pounds. One day she lectured the class on the value of sufficient sleep. Billy protested, "Why, I don't see anything wrong with staying up late once in a while."

"Why, Billie," said the teacher, "I'm much older than you, and I go to bed with the chickens every night."

Billie looked her over in silence for a few moments and then said in a voice full of wonder, "I don't see how you ever make it up to the roost."

Mrs. Orvold, first-grade teacher in the McFarland Wisconsin public schools, was arranging her class for dismissal at noon and liked to have each group know exactly where they were going.

"Will all the boys and girls who are going to eat in the hot lunch room program stand over here," said Mrs. Orvold, as she pointed to an area in the room. "Now will the boys and girls who have their lunch in pails stand over here."

Johnny, who was patiently waiting for her to notice him finally raised his hand. "Yes, Johnny, what is it?" said Mrs. Orvold.

Asked Johnny, "Mrs. Orvold, where do the bags go?"—Wisconsin Journal of Education

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