Pupil Sermon Illustrations

Pupil Sermon Illustrations

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"Now, boys," said the school master, "what is the axis of the earth?"

Johnny raised his hand and was asked to describe it. "The axis of the earth," he said, "is an imaginary line which passes from one pole to another and on which the earth revolves."

"Very good," said the teacher. "Now, could you hang clothes on that line?" to which Johnny replied, "Yes, sir."

"Indeed?" probed the teacher, disappointed. "And what sort of clothes?"

"Imaginary clothes, sir."—The Lookout


A teacher was telling her second graders about various things on the farm, including the fact that chickens grow from tiny, fluffy chicks to full-grown roosters and hens with a full quota of feathers.

"That's strange," one little guy interrupted her, "our chickens don't have feathers—they have plastic bags on them!"—Capper's Weekly


Joan completed the second grade with honors. Before entering the third grade she met her former teacher, whom she dearly loved. Said Joan, "I wish you knew enough to teach me next year."


Daffy definitions from Sunkist School second graders:

"An island is a whole lot of water with a little dirt in it."
"Quiet is when there isn't ‘enebode' saying `enething.'"
"Washington is the last name of the first president of the U. S."
"A gem is a place where you play ball sometimes."—The Pointer, Covina School District


The teacher was checking her studentès knowledge of proverbs.

"Cleanliness is next to what?" she asked.
A small boy replied with real feeling: "Impossible."


The teacher asked her small pupils to tell about their acts of kindness to dumb animals. After several heart-stirring stories, the teacher asked Tommy if he had anything to add 'Well," he replied rather proudly, "I once kicked a boy for kicking his dog."—The Rotary Call, Winnetka, Illinois


During a lesson on the functioning of the body a first- grade teacher for dramatic effect announced that there was a fire burning in the body all the time.

"Sure," enjoined one little tyke, "and on a cold day, I can see the smoke."


The teacher was explaining to the class the meaning of the word "Recuperate." "Now, Tommy," she said to a small boy, "when your father has worked hard all day, he is tired and worn out, isn't he?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Then, when night comes, and his work is over for the day, what does he do?"

"That's what Mother wants to know," Tommy explained.


A teacher in Oswego, New York, was watching her second-graders happily building some out-of-this-world equipment. Suddenly, one youngster began to fret and he explained what was wrong: "The girls want to put up curtains in our space ship!"—Michigan Education Journal


Teacher: "This makes five times I have punished you this week. Now, Tommy, what have you to say?"

Tommy: "Well, I'm glad it's Friday."


Teacher: "Yes, Jimmie, what is it?"

Jimmie: "I don't want to scare you, but Pop said that if I didn't get better grades somebody is going to get a licking."


The pretty young teacher was explaining the difference between abstract and concrete. "Concrete means something you can see: she told the children, "and abstract means something you can't see. Now who will give me an illustration."

Little Jimmie in the second row quickly held up his hand "My pants are concrete," he said. "Yours are abstract."—Laugh Book


Little Eldon, fretting at the teacher's assignment, asked skeptically, "Do you get paid for teaching us?"

The teacher smiled. "Yes."

Puzzled, the boy exclaimed, "That's funny! We do all the work!"—Sunshine Magazine


The teacher was trying to impress on the children how important had been the discovery of the law of gravitation.

"Sir Isaac Newton was sitting on the ground, looking at the tree," she said. "An apple fell on his head, and from that he discovered gravitation. Just think, children: she added, enthusiastically, "isn't that wonderful?"

The inevitable small boy replied, "Yes'm; an' if he had been settin' in school lookin' at his books, he wouldn't never have discovered nothin'!"—Sunshine Magazine


When one child reported that his mother had found lice in his hair, the principal started examining all the children's heads in school. That night David reported to his mother, "Mr. Stegall is examining our heads to see if we have lights in them."—Oklahoma Teacher


Some pupils are like sailboats. They both depend on an outside force to move them.


Fourth grade teacher, in selecting the story of Samson to read to her class, said, "This story is about the strongest man who ever lived. Can you guess his name?" No one could. "His name begins with S," she hinted. The whole room spoke in one voice: "Superman."—Joe Creason, Louisville Courier-Journal

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