Parenthood Sermon Illustrations

Parenthood Sermon Illustrations

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Little boy to his father: "I'm glad you are my Daddy and that we have the same germs, so that I can kiss you."

A child sometimes is a composite of Mom and Dad. How-ever, often the girls take after their fathers—and after that, they take after other fellows.

Mother: "Johnny, I wish you'd stop reaching for things. Don't you have a tongue?"

Johnny: "Yes, Mother, but my arm is longer."

I spanked a little boy last night
I thought I was doing right;
I thought that I was punishing
A little boy for some wrong thing.
Today I bought a ball and kite
For that same boy I spanked last night
Bought marbles, tops and everything
To counteract the punishing.
You see through tears this little lad
Tried hard to smile and then said, "Dad,
Will spanking make me good like you?"
I think you would have bought those things, too.—Author Unknown

"Son, why aren't you as bright as Mrs. Jones' boy Billy? He never gets failing marks, does he?"

"No, but then he has a certain advantage. He has intelligent parents."

"Parents are only human," said a fifteen-year-old panelist on a youth forum. "They can't be right all the time any more than we can."—National Parent-Teacher

At the carnival a little girl kept asking her mother for money. Finally, in exasperation mother explained, "I don't have any money to spare!" The child shot back, "I don't want to spare it, I want to spend it."

Eight-year-old Dala was getting to do far too many things to suit Dlynn who is only four. For the fourth time in two days Dlynn was told that she was just not big enough and old enough to be allowed to engage in some of the activities available to her older sister. In utter dismay Dlynn complained, "It's not fair, mommy! How did Dala get such a head start on me?"—M. Dale Baughman

A young mother paying a visit to her doctor, made no attempt to restrain her five-year-old son, who was ransacking an adjoining treatment room. But finally an extra-loud clatter of bottles did prompt her to say, "I hope, doctor, you don't mind Billy being in your examining room."

"No," said the doctor calmly "He'll be quiet in a moment when he gets to the poisons."—Scarboro Missions

The small daughter watched her mother soberly while she marked her ballot at the polls, then remarked, "You voted for the man you loves best, didn't you, Mother?"

"Gracious, child!" exclaimed the mother, "why ask that?"

"You put a kiss by his name."—Sunshine Magazine

The father of six old maid daughters was overheard praying: "Dear Lord, I am not asking anything for myself, but please give six eligible young men six deductible wives."—Back Bay Breeze

Little Mary: "I don't think Mamma knows much about bring ing up children."

Father: "Why, Mary, what makes you say that?"

Mary: "Well, she makes me go to bed when I'm wide awake and she makes me get up when I'm sleepy."—The Lookout

One snowy morning prior to his father's departure: "Mommy, can Freddie and I go out and listen to Daddy put on the tire chains?"—Philnews

Asked a small boy, looking up from the evening paper, "Dad, do political plums grow from seeds?"

"No," replied his father, "they result from clever grafting."—American Mercury

Mother: "Did you push your little sister down the stairs?"

Bobby: "I only pushed her down one step. She fell the rest of the way."

Father (to thoughtful son): "A penny for your thoughts, Jimmy."

Jimmy: "To tell the truth, Pop, I was thinking of a quarter."

A teacher was telling of the hardships of the Pilgrims. One first-grader raised her hand and said, "I wish my mommy had been there. She always knows just what to do."—The Lookout

'Did Edison make the first talking machine, Papa?"

"No, son, God made the first one, but Edison made the first one that could be shut off."

Mother of small boy to child psychiatrist: "Well, I don't know whether or not he feels insecure, but everybody else in the neighborhood certainly does!"—Tracks

"Did you miss any of these?" asked Johnny's father after reading over a list of five questions which his son had been called upon to answer in school that day.

"Only the first two and the last three," said Johnny.

"Mommy," said the 4-year-old, "why did you marry Daddy?" "So!" exclaimed her mother. "Even you are puzzled!"—Nuggets

Mary Anne, who had been learning to sing Christmas carols in kindergarten, often sang herself to sleep. And one night, this is what her family heard her sing: "While shepherds washed their socks by night."—Margaret Horner, Washington, D.C. NEA Journal

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