"Have you the rent ready?"
"No, sir; mother's gone out washing and forgot to put it out for you."
"Did she tell you she'd forgotten?"
One of the passengers on a wreck was an exceedingly nervous man, who, while floating in the water, imagined how his friends would acquaint his wife of his fate. Saved at last, he rushed to the telegraph office and sent this message: "Dear Pat, I am saved. Break it gently to my wife."