A wife after the divorce, said to her husband: "I am willing to let you have the baby half the time."
"Good!" said he, rubbing his hands. "Splendid!"
"Yes," she resumed, "you may have him nights."
"Is the baby strong?"
"Well, rather! You know what a tremendous voice he has?"
"Well, he lifts that five or six times an hour!"—Comic Cuts.
Recipe for a baby:
Clean and dress a wriggle, add a pint of nearly milk,
Smother with a pillow any sneeze;
Baste with talcum powder and mark upon its back—
"Don't forget that you were one of these."—Life.