"Papa, what does hereditary mean?"
"Something which descends from father to son."
"Is a spanking hereditary?"
William had just returned from college, resplendent in peg-top trousers, silk hosiery, a fancy waistcoat, and a necktie that spoke for itself. He entered the library where his father was reading. The old gentleman looked up and surveyed his son. The longer he looked, the more disgusted he became.
"Son," he finally blurted out, "you look like a d——fool!"
Later, the old Major who lived next door came in and greeted the boy heartily. "William," he said with undisguised admiration, "you look exactly like your father did twenty-five years ago when he came back from school!"
"Yes," replied William, with a smile, "so Father was just telling me."
"There seems to be a strange affinity between a darky and a chicken. I wonder why?" said Jones.
"Naturally enough," replied Brown. "One is descended from Ham and the other from eggs."
"So you have adopted a baby to raise?" we ask of our friend. "Well, it may turn out all right, but don't you think you are taking chances?"
"Not a chance," he answers. "No matter how many bad habits the child may develop, my wife can't say he inherits any of them from my side of the house."
The woman, who had a turn-up nose and was somewhat self-conscious concerning it, bought a new pug dog, and petted it so fondly as to excite the jealousy of her little daughter.
"How do you like your new little brother?" she asked the child teasingly.
The girl replied, rather maliciously, perhaps:
"He looks just like his muvver."