HER FATHER—"So my daughter has consented to become your wife. Have you fixed the day of the wedding?"
SUITOR—"I will leave that to my fiancée."
H.F.—"Will you have a church or a private wedding?"
S.—"Her mother can decide that, sir."
H.F.—"What have you to live on?"
S.—"I will leave that entirely to you, sir."
The London consul of a continental kingdom was informed by his government that one of his countrywomen, supposed to be living in Great Britain, had been left a large fortune. After advertising without result, he applied to the police, and a smart young detective was set to work. A few weeks later his chief asked how he was getting on.
"I've found the lady, sir."
"Good! Where is she?"
"At my place. I married her yesterday."
"I would die for you," said the rich suitor.
"How soon?" asked the practical girl.
HE—"I'd like to meet Miss Bond."
"I hear she has thirty thousand a year and no incumbrance."
"Is she looking for one?"—Life.
MAUDE—"I've just heard of a case where a man married a girl on his deathbed so she could have his millions when he was gone. Could you love a girl like that?"
JACK—"That's just the kind of a girl I could love. What's her address?"
"Yes," said the old man to his young visitor, "I am proud of my girls, and would like to see them comfortably married, and as I have made a little money they will not go penniless to their husbands. There is Mary, twenty-five years old, and a really good girl. I shall give her $1,000 when she marries. Then comes Bet, who won't see thirty-five again, and I shall give her $3,000, and the man who takes Eliza, who is forty, will have $5,000 with her."
The young man reflected for a moment and then inquired: "You haven't one about fifty, have you?"