The father of the family hurried to the telephone and called up the family physician. "Our little boy is sick, Doctor," he said, "so please come at once."
"I can't get over much under an hour," said the doctor.
"Oh please do, Doctor. You see, my wife has a book on 'What to Do Before the Doctor Comes,' and I'm so afraid she'll do it before you get here!"
NURSE GIRL—"Oh, ma'am, what shall I do? The twins have fallen down the well!"
FOND PARENT—"Dear me! how annoying! Just go into the library and get the last number of The Modern Mother's Magazine; it contains an article on 'How to Bring Up Children.'"
SURGEON AT NEW YORK HOSPITAL—"What brought you to this dreadful condition? Were you run over by a street-car?"
PATIENT—"No, sir; I fainted, and was brought to by a member of the Society of First Aid to the Injured."—Life.
A prominent physician was recently called to his telephone by a colored woman formerly in the service of his wife. In great agitation the woman advised the physician that her youngest child was in a bad way.
"What seems to be the trouble?" asked the doctor.
"Doc, she done swallered a bottle of ink!"
"I'll be over there in a short while to see her," said the doctor. "Have you done anything for her?"
"I done give her three pieces o' blottin'-paper, Doc," said the colored woman doubtfully.