Etiquette means 'a ticket'.—The old gardener at Versailles was in great distress. What pains he took with his flower beds! How patiently he mapped them all out in the evening and how deftly he executed his own designs in the daytime! How he longed for summer that he might feast his eyes upon the perfect patterns and the beautifully pleasing flowers! But that joy was never his. For, as soon as he got his rare seed nicely sown, his fragile plants fondly set, and his delicate young cuttings tastefully arranged, the courtiers from the palace trampled them all down and reduced the poor gardener to tears. Season after season the noblemen and great ladies in their strolls among the beautiful terraces and graceful parterres, ruthlessly destroyed the labors of the old man's skilful hands;—till at last he could endure it no longer. He would appeal to the king. So right into the august presence of the great Louis XIV the poor gardener made his way and confided all his sorrows and disappointments to his royal master. The king, sorry for the old man, ordered little tablets—Etiquette'—to be neatly arranged along the sides of the flower beds, and a State order was issued commanding all the courtiers to walk carefully within the 'Etiquette'. So the old gardener not only protected his flowers but enriched our vocabulary with a new and startlingly significant word.—Dr. F. W. Boreham
(1 Kings 2. 36-44; 1 Thess. 4. 6; 1 John 3. 4)
A Boston girl the other day said to a southern friend who was visiting her, as two men rose in a car to give them seats: "Oh, I wish they would not do it."
"Why not? I think it is very nice of them," said her friend, settling herself comfortably.
"Yes, but one can't thank them, you know, and it is so awkward."
"Can't thank them! Why not?"
"Why, you would not speak to a strange man, would you?" said the Boston maiden, to the astonishment of her southern friend.
A little girl on the train to Pittsburgh was chewing gum. Not only that, but she insisted on pulling it out in long strings and letting it fall back into her mouth again.
"Mabel!" said her mother in a horrified whisper. "Mabel, don't do that. Chew your gum like a little lady."
LITTLE BROTHER—"What's etiquet?"
LITTLE BIGGER BROTHER—"It's saying 'No, thank you,' when you want to holler 'Gimme!'"—Judge.
A Lady there was of Antigua,
Who said to her spouse, "What a pig you are!"
He answered, "My queen,
Is it manners you mean,
Or do you refer to my figure?"—Gilbert K. Chesterton.
They were at dinner and the dainties were on the table.
"Will you take tart or pudding?" asked Papa of Tommy.
"Tart," said Tommy promptly.
His father sighed as he recalled the many lessons on manners he had given the boy.
"Tart, what?" he queried kindly.
But Tommy's eyes were glued on the pastry.
"Tart, what?" asked the father again, sharply this time.
"Tart, first," answered Tommy triumphantly.
TOMMY'S AUNT—"Won't you have another piece of cake, Tommy?"
TOMMY (on a visit)—"No, I thank you."
TOMMY'S AUNT—"You seem to be suffering from loss of appetite."
TOMMY—"That ain't loss of appetite. What I'm sufferin' from is politeness."
There was a young man so benighted,
He never knew when he was slighted;
He would go to a party,
And eat just as hearty,
As if he'd been really invited.