John Fiske, the historian, was once interrupted by his wife, who complained that their son had been very disrespectful to some neighbors. Mr. Fiske called the youngster into his study.
"My boy, is it true that you called Mrs. Jones a fool?"
The boy hung his head. "Yes, father." "And did you call Mr. Jones a worse fool?"
Mr. Fiske frowned and pondered for a minute. Then he said:
"Well, my son, that is just about the distinction I should make."
"See that man over there. He is a bombastic mutt, a windjammer nonentity, a false alarm, and an encumberer of the earth!"
"Would you mind writing all that down for me?"
"Why in the world—"
"He's my husband, and I should like to use it on him some time."