"Talk about Napoleon! That fellow Wombat is something of a strategist himself."
"As to how?"
"Got his salary raised six months ago, and his wife hasn't found it out yet."—Washington Herald.
A Lakewood woman was recently reading to her little boy the story of a young lad whose father was taken ill and died, after which he set himself diligently to work to support himself and his mother. When she had finished her story she said:
"Dear Billy, if your papa were to die, would you work to support your dear mamma?"
"Naw!" said Billy unexpectedly.
"But why not?"
"Ain't we got a good house to live in?"
"Yes, dearie, but we can't eat the house, you know."
"Ain't there a lot o' stuff in the pantry?"
"Yes, but that won't last forever."
"It'll last till you git another husband, won't it? You're a pretty good looker, ma!"
Mamma gave up right there.
"I am sending you a thousand kisses," he wrote to his fair young wife who was spending her first month away from him. Two days later he received the following telegram: "Kisses received. Landlord refuses to accept any of them on account." Then he woke up and forwarded a check.