An enterprising firm advertised: "All persons indebted to our store are requested to call and settle. All those indebted to our store and not knowing it are requested to call and find out. Those knowing themselves indebted and not wishing to call, are requested to stay in one place long enough for us to catch them."
"Sir," said the haughty American to his adhesive tailor, "I object to this boorish dunning. I would have you know that my great-great-grandfather was one of the early settlers."
"And yet," sighed the anxious tradesman, "there are people who believe in heredity."
A retail dealer in buggies doing business in one of the large towns in northern Indiana wrote to a firm in the east ordering a carload of buggies. The firm wired him:
"Cannot ship buggies until you pay for your last consignment."
"Unable to wait so long," wired back the buggy dealer, "cancel order."
The saddest words of tongue or pen
May be perhaps, "It might have been,"
The sweetest words we know, by heck,
Are only these "Enclosed find check!"—Minne-Ha-Ha.