Belle and Ben had just announced their engagement.
"When we are married," said Belle, "I shall expect you to shave every morning. It's one of the rules of the club I belong to that none of its members shall marry a man who won't shave every morning."
"Oh, that's all right," replied Ben; "but what about the mornings I don't get home in time? I belong to a club, too."—M.A. Hitchcock.
The guest landing at the yacht club float with his host, both of them wearing oilskins and sou'-westers to protect them from the drenching rain, inquired:
"And who are those gentlemen seated on the veranda, looking so spick and span in their white duck yachting caps and trousers, and keeping the waiters running all the time?"
"They're the rocking-chair members. They never go outside, and they're waterproof inside."
One afternoon thirty ladies met at the home of Mrs. Lyons to form a woman's club. The hostess was unanimously elected president. The next day the following ad appeared in the newspaper:
"Wanted—a reliable woman to take care of a baby. Apply to Mrs. J. W. Lyons."