MR. HILTON—"Have you opened that bottle of champagne, Bridget?"
BRIDGET—"Faith, I started to open it, an' it began to open itself. Sure, the mon that filled that bottle must 'av' put in two quarts instead of wan."
Sir Andrew Clark was Mr. Gladstone's physician, and was known to the great statesman as a "temperance doctor" who very rarely prescribed alcohol for his patients. On one occasion he surprised Mr. Gladstone by recommending him to take some wine. In answer to his illustrious patient's surprise he said:
"Oh, wine does sometimes help you get through work! For instance, I have often twenty letters to answer after dinner, and a pint of champagne is a great help."
"Indeed!" remarked Mr. Gladstone; "does a pint of champagne really help you to answer the twenty letters?"
"No," Sir Andrew explained; "but when I've had a pint of champagne I don't care a rap whether I answer them or not."