Baseball Sermon Illustrations

Baseball Sermon Illustrations

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Several evenings after the Russians launched a rocket to the moon, the Indians' pitching coach, Mel Harder, and sportswriter Frank Gibbons were standing on a street corner. Harder looked up at the big moon hanging in the sky.

"It's a lot bigger than home plate," he observed. "How could they possibly miss it?"—Scholastic Coach

Apparently Little League baseball in Boonville, Indiana is about like Little League baseball anywhere else. A nine-year-old ballplayer went home and told his father that he had hit a home run.

"You really must have smacked it," said the proud father.

"It wasn't much," the boy replied. "I just hit it and took off running."

"Well," said his dad, "it must have gone over the outfielders head."

"Oh, he wasn't there" the boy said. "He'd gone after a drink of water."—Griff Niblack

Two peroxide blonds raised quite a fuss at a baseball game.

"The bleachers: wrote a cub reporter, "went wild."—T. O. White, Champaign-Urbana News Gazette

"I would hafta say that it (the situation) is more improved today than forty years ago. Nowadays when a pitch comes too close to a fella, he walks back with a funny look and says, 'You know, I think that pitcher was throwing at me.' When I come up to the Dodgers, I knew they was throwin' at me!"—Casey Stengel, "How Casey Bats the English Language," by Charles D. Rice, This Week Magazine

"Always keep your eye on a fly ball Don't look where you're running—we got ground keepers to see that there's no ditches in this park."—Casey Stengel, "How Casey Bats the English Language," by Charles D. Rice, This Week Magazine

A dyed-in-the-wool baseball fan was persuaded by friends to go to the horse races. Being a beginner, he picked a 50-1 long shot and put $2 on the nose. Coming into the stretch the long-shot horse was neck and neck with the favorite. As they neared the wire for a photo finish, the baseball man hollered, "Slide, you bum! Slide!"—Knight of St. George

One chestnut to be told and retold on baseball's banquet circuit concerns the hayshaker who hit three for three on a particular afternoon ... but was credited with only two for four when the box score appeared in the morning newspaper!

So the hayshaker was waiting when the sports editor showed up at the park for the next afternoon's game. The sports editor caught it good because a woman scorned is a kitten compared to a baseball player who believes himself cheated of a hit. When the storm calmed, the sports editor explained: "Forget it, Joe. That was a typographical error."

"Error, h—I," stormed the hayshaker. "That drive nearly took off the shortstop's head."—Philadelphia Enquirer

A run in time saves the nine.

Knowin' all 'bout baseball is jist 'bout as profitable as bein' a good whittler.—Abe Martin.

"Plague take that girl!"
"My friend, that is the most beautiful girl in this town."
"That may be. But she obstructs my view of second base."

When Miss Cheney, one of the popular teachers in the Swarthmore schools, had to deal with a boy who played "hookey," she failed to impress him with the evil of his ways.

"Don't you know what becomes of little boys who stay away from school to play baseball?" asked Miss Cheney.

"Yessum," replied the lad promptly. "Some of 'em gets to be good players and pitch in the big leagues."

The teacher directed the class to write a brief account of a baseball game. All the pupils were busy during the allotted time, except one little boy, who sat motionless, and wrote never a word. The teacher gave him an additional five minutes, calling them off one by one. The fifth minute had almost elapsed when the youngster awoke to life, and scrawled a sentence. It ran thus:

"Rain—no game."

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